Hustlin’ Like a Kirby Salesman
While previewing Wale’s official debut album, Attention Deficit, it only took one minute and twenty seconds for me to hear a a line that conjured up memories of childhood and my parents. A sexist yet clever simile connecting oral sex to a $1,000+ vacuum cleaner: the Kirby.
Who else has childhood memories of the Kirby and remember having a door-to-door salesman sucker your parents into buying a vacuum cleaner that seemed to do everything except mow the lawn?
I remember being amazed and grossed out when the Kirby dealer vacuumed our carpet and then proceeded to show us how much dirt wasn’t picked up after vacuuming the same area with the Kirby G4. All the dirt left in the cloth vacuum bag was disgusting and even more so after he vacuumed our mattresses. This wonder of a vacuum picked up all the dirt in your carpet, shampooed the carpet, could sand wood, had an extension to work as a massager, could work as an air freshener, and cooked dinner and washed dishes as well.
How could any sensible person not want to buy something so amazing? (Especially when you haven’t had the time to do some consumer research on the product.)
My parents were never particularly well off. Thinking about it, I was probably on reduced lunch when my parents were co-opted by the flashy presentation into making this outrageous investment. It was a ridiculous purchase, but I know my parents were not the only suckers. I’ve walked into many of my friends’ homes and seen the shining metallic beast.
Thinking back on Wale’s line, I wonder if he is actually referring to the suckers who ended up falling into the salesman’s hype.
-Ninoy Brown
November 9th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Oh snaap! I thought my parents were the only one’s swindled owners of a Kirby vacuum. On my most recent visit, I noticed the retirement of the Kirby, and the return to the Rainbow vacuum systems with the water filter system. Anyone else know somethin about the Rainbow??
November 9th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
I guess that you dont know that numerous friends of ours have parents who bought a Kirby too. I’m not sure if it’s a Filipino thing or what.
November 10th, 2009 at 12:53 am
Oh yes my parents were suckers for the Rainbow vacuum. my mom tried to return it, but the shop was vacated and the dude dipped. someone has to do research on working immigrant folks and these get-rich-quick schemes with appliances that SUCK.
But umm…two words for everyone: Salad Master?
hollur if ya hear meh….
November 10th, 2009 at 10:16 am
I can only remember maybe 3-4 times when my mom used our Salad Master. It was my aunt who suckered my mom into buying it.
November 10th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
oh kirby. i remember the sample filter he would pull out after quickly vacuuming a small section of our carpet. that vacuum weighs a ton though–good thing it had the “drive” option, but switching back n forth from vacuum to the hand tools was a pain.
was i the only one who had tupperware parties/get togethers at my place?
November 11th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
wow, sounds familiar. the rainbow, the kirby..i think besides the fact that my folks were amazed at the cleaning power of the thing–they also felt pity on the relative who sold it to them, wanting to help them out too. I know it was way over their budget too, shoppin at canned grocery outlet and food4less…